


Frozen Spires

by Serpex



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, Hange spelled as Hanji, Mentions of Suicide, One Shot, female Hanji, levihan - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-22
Updated: 2019-04-22
Packaged: 2020-01-23 22:25:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18559120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Serpex/pseuds/Serpex
Summary: Winter was a time of both joys and regrets for the Survey Corps. For some, it was the time to go home. For others, it was mourning the loss of a home. Levi had nothing left in the Underground and had to no reason to return. However, little did he know that there were some others who shared the same fate.





	Frozen Spires

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't about to sit through Apollo 13 for the eighth time so I wrote this instead of watching the movie in physics class. It's not Ereri or Eruri, but it'll do. Levihan is one of my favorite ships so deal with it. Woot. It's unedited, but I hope I didn't make too many mistakes. If you see anything, please let me know. 
> 
> And for the record, Hanji will be female in my story.
> 
> Hope ya enjoy ^^

As the nights grew longer and the days shorter, it was evident the expeditions would have to be on hold. Winter struck with a quick merciless hand. There was no reason for the soldiers to remain on duty for four months. Erwin had no doubt that those who were left would appreciate spending time with their loved ones. Once Spring came, there would be no guarantee if they would be able to return again. Of course, a few were exempt due to more tragic familial circumstances. Those who could not go home or had no home to come back to would remain under Levi's care at the old Survey Corps HQ. Though the castle was old and somewhat dingy even after the tune-up, it would provide more sustainability once the main base was shut down and circled away. 

 

Over the next week, soldiers filed out one by one. Erwin was among the last group to leave with his head held high in a solemn state.

 

"You're sure you will be fine on your own?" he asked. He squinted his eyes slightly falling on Levi's figure with his hair sweeping his forehead. It was quite unkempt compared to his typical attire.

 

"I should ask you the same," Levi snarkily replied. "You're going back to visit your family, right?"

 

"Well, yes. At least, I'll be visiting their graves," Erwin clarified. "Although, I'll be staying with Nile for the time. His children are eager to see me again last I heard." Levi made a face of disgust at the mention of the kids.

 

"At least these brats can shit on their own. I won't have to deal with touching diapers, wiping boogers, or suffering crocodile tears. And their whiny voices are like banshees." Erwin rolled his eyes and huffed in disbelief.

 

"Well, I think they are quite the joy to have opposed to our condition. It's always individuals like you that make it dreary," he mused. Levi threw sass on his hip and leaned into one leg.

 

"Oh? You sure it's not the blood, the missing limbs, the cold, the wreaking stench of death, the-"

 

"Alright, I get it. But, that's the point of this leave. Our soldiers won't have to think about any of that stuff for the time being." Levi scoffed at the commander.

 

"Well, you have fun joining them. I'll be heading out with the brats after the supply carts are set." Erwin chuckled but mounted his steed.

 

"Tell the other squad leader I send my regards," he called out. Levi was caught off guard by the statement. He bounced back to both legs and reached out towards Erwin.

 

"Hey, hey! What do you mean? I thought I was going to be the only squad leader on duty!" However, Erwin Smith had already ridden off, a cloud of dust chasing after. "Tch, bastard," he cursed under his breath before heading back to the stables. The final supplies were being loaded as the remaining handful of cadets grew restless. As everyone started mounting their stallions, Levi got his own horse, Dapple who was waiting patiently. She bent down as Levi approached knowing it was easier for him to get on. Secured, the great jet black horse rose along with Levi. With a long sigh, he marched to the front of the caravan.

 

"Cadets, let's move out!" he shouted. A small army clad in green cloaks trekked across the land. The day was relentless growing colder the more time passed. The wind was slicing bark off the trees by the time they reached the outer skirts of the area, and eventually, the castle came into view. A soldier stood outside as if waiting. Levi was shocked to see it was Moblit.

 

Humanity's Strongest felt an impending dread pool in his gut.

 

"Good to see you made it," Moblit beamed. "The stables are all set up and we'll take the supplies into the lower banks of the castle. Rooms will be located on the upper floor." The brats immediately complied wanting to go somewhere warm sooner rather than later. Levi took the chance to speak to Moblit once he had tethered Dapple in a stall.

 

"I didn't expect to see you here," he said. Moblit nervously laughed as he raised a hand to scratch his neck.

 

"My family doesn't really care about me. The moment I joined the Survey Corps, that notion was very evident. So, I figured I'd stay and keep my squad leader company," he explained. Levi felt something inside break apart knowing Hanji was here. Moblit seemed to sense Levi's disgust and threw up his hand in defense. "You won't have to worry about her. Usually, she's not really around during this time. I mean, I said I'd keep her company but even that statement is minimal. For the record, she'll most likely be shut in her office. I'll be bringing her food personally, so you won't even see her at meal times. You won't really see her unless she has to go to the restroom or shower."

 

"Like that will happen too much," Levi mumbled. "Well, let's get inside." The two men immediately relaxed as warmth flooded their systems. They led the cadets to their rooms before breaking up for dinner. They each took their first ration of many and gradually settled in.

 

While there was no strict schedule, many of the cadets continued to train and work their bodies over the weeks. Some were more enthusiastic like Eren in keeping their strength up. Even those who were reluctant like Jean eventually pitched in and joined the daily training. Levi spent much of this time observing the cadets, joining them occasionally, and eavesdropping on the local gossip. Some who were weary grew accustomed to the captain's presence. By the time a month had passed, he found himself enjoying the routine. However, the nights led him elsewhere. Although he was freed from his duties, his lack of work left him with a deafening amount of silence. It was a particularly dreadful night when he finally saw her again.

 

The snow had finally come full force frosting the ground and the windows flaked with rigid ice chunks. The sheer howling wind gave no mercy screaming like a banshee.

 

Losing interest in watching the sky turn a nasty grey, Levi decided to patrol the hallways. There wasn't really a reason for him to at three in the morning, but he could no longer hole himself up during the nights anymore. With a decent amount of oil and lantern in hand, he began to walk around stopping when he saw a dim light glowing from an open doorway on the far end of the offices. No cadet would intrude on a squad leader's office. Moblit was also dead asleep from taking to a drink off with the older cadets earlier in the day. Even Armin who stayed up reading in the study would have gone to sleep by now.

 

That left only one person.

 

With a groan, he opened the door all the way and peered inside.

 

"Hey, shitty glasses-" he cut himself off noticing the room was empty. To his shock, it looked much more different than he expected. Papers were stacked and sorted in an orderly fashion as were Hanji's research books. They were all neatly placed on a large bookshelf sorted by alphabetical order instead of the piles he normally had to navigate to even reach Hanji. Even her bed was straight as if no one had slept in it. However, that wasn't the strangest part of the sight. At the center of it all was Hanji's desk. Unlike the rest of the room, her desk was in pieces as if some rabid boar had thrashed its mighty tusks into the wooden planks. While no papers or documents were visible, she had obviously been looking for something, or rather, tried to hide something. Levi could see visible scratch marks and dents where Hanji may have tried to jam her own drawers. It was then he noticed the smallest drawer at the bottom of the rubble was crushed and no longer able to be opened. Crouching down, he pulled apart severed pieces until the hole of the drawer was clear. Reaching inside, his fingertips met cool metal that hadn't been touched in forever. It was a feeling that Levi could never forget.

 

He firmly grasped the handle and pulled out the pistol.

 

Living in the underground with a life of nothing but struggle, famine, disease, and other things that had engraved themselves into his very soul. Among some rather distasteful crimes, he had committed during this time was smuggling. Firearms, although scarce, were highly sought after items that were worth more than imaginable. While they had been banned to everyone except the military and those with hunting licenses, it was a means of survival in the soulless place even if it meant murdering another man. Kenny had been a strong suitor of the firearms trade and in turn, so was Levi.

 

He recognized the pistol as an older model which was no longer deemed safe due to its poor reliability. There were some weapons which were outlawed due to its ability to kill like semi-automatic weapons. Others, however, were a life hazard liability. This pistol, in particular, had a tendency to explode within the user's hand if it wasn't handled correctly. It made it a desirable bomb among underground users. However, Levi didn't even remember seeing the pistol above ground either even during his time in the Survey Corps. In truth, there were a few things that the Survey Corps shirked on the legal side of things for the purpose of humanity's progression, but even they had rules that applied to them. Smaller hunting rifles and those types of firearms were allowed among the group, however, this pistol was not included.

 

It was a wonder why Hanji had it.

 

Finding solace in holding the solid steel, Levi expertly took it apart. He intended to undo the mechanism that caused the explosive nature but found it already disengaged. In fact, it had been stripped and clean of any of the inner workings.

 

Something wasn't adding up right.

 

Possession of an illegal weapon that was scarce as it was and weirded by a sharpshooter: both were unlikely things that applied to Hanji. And yet, he couldn't leave it be.

 

Suddenly, there was a sharp gasp as someone barreled into Levi. He hadn't expected someone and lost his balance tumbling to the floor as the person in question landed on top of him.

 

"You give me that!" Hanji scowled. She reached for the pistol but Levi squirmed out from under her weaving beneath her legs and immediately pinned her down from behind. He dropped the pistol beside him just far enough so that she couldn't reach. Hanji tried to nab at Levi's hands trying to pry the smaller man from below. But, his grip was solid and defiant.

 

"Calm down," he growled. "Some people are still trying to sleep." At this, Hanji blinked profusely as if trying to register those words. Figuring she wouldn't fight back anymore, Levi cautiously released her clamoring off so that he sat beside her. For a moment, she simply laid still staring at the ceiling before sitting up. She took a deep breath and cleaned her glasses, steaming them up and wiping them with her shirt. She adjusted them until they lay comfortably on her face.

 

She turned to Levi and said, "What time is it?"

 

"Late enough," he grumbled. After realizing Hanji was still waiting, he rolled his eyes and replied again. "It's a bit after three in the morning." The other hummed before letting her gaze rest on the empty pistol. Levi tensed concerned she would go psycho for it again, but she just shook her head. With a disheartened chuckle, she just leaned back onto the palms of her hands rolling her fingers into the woods.

 

"Sorry, Levi. I didn't mean to be so erratic," she stated. "I just saw you holding that and immediately reacted. Not exactly one of my... brightest moments. I hope I didn't hurt you too much." She glanced over looking over Levi for reassurance. He simply shook his head.

 

"I'm fine." He waited for her to say something again, but she just bore into the floor barely twitching any muscles or rising with her breathing. Levi found it almost uncomfortable and suffocating. She was so quiet and indifferent compared to her regular self while she was on duty.

 

It suddenly occurred to him that perhaps that was the issue.

 

Levi had never seen Hanji off duty. Sure, it wasn't his business what soldiers did on their off days, but he always had some kind of notion usually found within the gossip. It dawned on him none of those sugarcoated tales circulated around Hanji. It was a side of her he never saw. Trying to find some solace, he pointed to the gun.

 

"Do you mind if I ask why you have this?" he said. Hanji briefly looked up before moving to sit criss cross applesauce.

 

"I'm guess you already know what it is," she began. "More than a gun, I mean." Levi hummed absentmindedly. "It's an illegal firearm, one that I had meant to get rid of a long time ago. But..."

 

"You couldn't," Levi finished. Hanji slowly picked it up and began running her fingers across the cold metal.

 

"Winter was always a hard time, but it wasn't much that bothered us long ago. It was before you joined us when taking leave in the cold dead months wasn't an option. We were desperate for answers, for protection, and for vengeance. But, it's difficult to find closure for a man who's already dead. Mom was a sweet soul, and one who never should have died the way she did. Of course, the same could be said for all the sacrifices we have had as well. It was all... a Titan attack in the dead of a cold night almost like this one. We couldn't even scavenge a scrap of clothing from her remains when help finally arrived all but too late. Dad never really... recovered. This exact pistol was the weapon he committed suicide with. I remember sitting there night after night listening to that metallic ring as he dry fired the gun over and over. He was waiting for that malfunction. He didn't want to pull it with defiance but left it up to his own ticking timeline. And it took his life just before dawn."

 

Levi could find no words to comfort Hanji. He could only find his words frozen among the slides of his tongue embedded within the silence. All of a sudden, Hanji began to laugh dishearteningly. She tossed the gun over to Levi who expertly caught it in instinct.

 

"Why did you—"

 

"I think talking about it has helped, but I think it takes a bit more than I can handle to forcefully destroy it. Would you do it for me? It's been nearly a decade since I've tried to get rid of it year after year only to find no conviction to do so. Don't tell me where you took it, how you did it, or even when. I just want you to take it. Please?" Levi stared at the pistol. It was a request he could easily comply with. His experience left him hardy enough to assure nothing would remain. And yet, he wondered. The damage he saw seemed to be something Hanji acknowledged she's tried to do before. He wondered if previous winters were like this. He wondered if all her winters were like this.

 

However, it was not his place to ask.

 

Without another word, he got up and began walking out leaving Hanji on the floor. Before he closed the door behind him, he felt a sentimental lump rise to his throat as he spoke.

 

"You'll catch a cold down there. Make sure you come down for breakfast. It's warmer in a dining hall of brats than a study room," he said softly. He whirled on the balls of his feet before going back to his room. The night drew on for a few more hours.

 

As morning came and the castle burned alive with hustle and bustle once more, Levi noticed a new presence in the dining hall that morning. Moblit cried as his squad leader appeared freshly cleaned and brighter than the night before. A weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

 

It almost brought a smile to Levi's lips, but he shied away under the guise of his tea.

**Author's Note:**

> Boop. It's over. Finally finished this baby after spring break ended. I feel like I might have rushed the ending, but oh well. I hope you guys enjoyed it anyway. Any suggestions, corrections, or comments in general, let me know! Thanks for reading ^^


End file.
